4/17/12

Anxiety Attack... I've never had a real panic attack until today. It's actually happening at this very moment, and the only thing I could think of doing to calm myself down was to write. Barely an hour ago I checked the status of my books on Amazon. I do this everyday and lately they have both been in the 500,000 range of Amazon ranking list. So imagine my surprise when I opened up To the Moon and Back and found it currently #19 on Amazon's best selling list. Well the best free download selling list, which if anyone pays attention to the ranks of books on Amazon is still a huge deal. At least it is to me. To see my name and the words Best Seller together is something I never thought I would see. It's also an experience that quickly brought on my first real major anxiety attack. To me this means people I don't know are actually reading my book,and what if they all hate it. I've never been in this spot before. It's exciting and terrifying at the same time. What happened today can make or break me in more ways than one. Being a newly self published Author that isn't very good at editing, one that hopes people will look past my imperfections and fall in love with the story and my characters is nerve racking, but no matter what the outcome of this very overwhelming but gratifying moment in my life and if no one who reads my book today, likes it. I'm still going to write because it's the one thing I truly love to do.